Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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