I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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