I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.