I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..