i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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