My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
