Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
