It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize