the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize