Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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