I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize