I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.