I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.