Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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