Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
try to milk me bitch