So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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