She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
