So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
