I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
