Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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