I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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