I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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