im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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