Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
