yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
