he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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