I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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