Im at strip club and am horny
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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