Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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