i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
