yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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