is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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