Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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