He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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