I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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