I heard we made out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize