I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You ruined the universe
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
