And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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