Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im holly from the hills drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
