Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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