the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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