Apparently you make a good broom.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
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i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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