sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
