Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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