Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dignity is for republicans.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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