My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
