Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
