Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
