So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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