winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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