How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
