i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize