Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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