I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
