Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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