are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
